Why?

If you’ve spent any time with a little kid, especially around the years of 2-5, you’ll be familiar with the “why” stage. Whether they are your kids, your nieces and nephews, kiddos you nanny, etc. I will go ahead and bet you’ve been through the endless game of answering why.

“It’s time to go to bed”

“Why?”

“Please don’t run off from me while at the store”

“Why?”

“No you can’t buy that toy”

“but why?“

Children seem to want to know one thing as they grow up…why. They want an understanding of your command or advice. Or, frankly, they just want to try to change your mind. How many of you have ever gotten frustrated at the little ones’ incessant questioning of what if to know WHY. Let’s be honest, we’ve all eventually said “because I said so,” but that doesn’t typically count as a good enough answer for little ones. Even I, who have no kids of my own, but consider myself pseudo-godmother to some really special littles have heard “why, Riree?” (that’s what they call me) over and over again. And I remember one of the first times I answered with that frustrating answer of because I said so. It can be exhausting.

If I’m honest, I’ve been like those little kids for the past year and a half. Well, even longer than that. I find myself wondering why quite often lately.

Why did my father have to die so suddenly and at such a young age?

Why can’t I find a job?

Why did you have to take Momo from us too?

Why was I passed over for another job?

Why did those clients go with another photographer?

Why…why…why…

I’ve found myself in this place where I’m trying not to question why all the while knowing God sees my heart and knows I’m begging Him to know why. I can hear God saying, “because I said so” and I’m struggling to let that answer be enough. Why? Because God has a plan for my life and He knows better. He sees it all, not just this moment. But I still find myself wanting a “real” answer.

God doesn’t respond to my questioning in anger or frustration like so many of us are guilty of when our kids or little ones in our lives are constantly questioning our authority by asking why. In fact, He welcomes the questions like I said, He already knows our heart. In the end, though, that’s why I’m doing, questioning God’s authority and His goodness. By asking why and demanding a reason for pain or loss in our lives we’re basically saying “I don’t trust you enough to believe you have it in control and I want to know why you did this.”

Our faith calls us to be okay and to continue believing even when the answer to “why” never comes. Our faith calls us to be patient in the seasons of waiting and in the seasons of “whys.”

Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” ‭‭John‬ ‭13:7

I’ll be honest, I don’t understand what he’s doing. I don’t understand why I’ve been passed over for job after job. I don’t know why my family has had to face season after season of grief. But that’s why I have faith. Without faith, I wouldn’t have hope. Without hope, I wouldn’t have a purpose.

I’ve had to learn a lot about faith over the last few years and what it means to trust even when you feel blind. There are things my mind can’t comprehend- like everything about heaven. But just because I don’t fully understand doesn’t mean it isn’t real or isn’t what I believe. I think a lot of times we aren’t necessarily supposed to understand everything fully, that’s why God calls us to have faith.

“And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” Hebrews 11:6

And if you struggle with anxiety, Satan will use that lack of full understanding against you. I can’t count how many times Satan has tried to convince me that I’m not a Christian because I don’t understand things completely. Or because I do get upset at God sometimes. Or because I ask WHY. Satan will try to ask me, “Is this what you truly believe?” And that’s why we have to fight against him.

I don’t believe that God is angered by our questions. I do think He wants us to seek Him and ask HIM our questions not just shut out our faith. I also don’t think I should wallow in those questions…which I have been guilty of lately. It’s been a struggle. My flesh wants to know the answers but I know it won’t change anything.

I’m sure I’m not alone in these thoughts. Do you ever ask why? Do you ever struggle to remember how important faith is?  XOXO