Singleness: my thoughts for the single person

This is a topic that is very near and real to my heart. {This is a long and wordy post–but it is worth the read} I am single and have been for many years. Not because I don’t want to be in a relationship, but because God hasn’t placed someone in my path yet. My dream is love, marriage, and a baby carriage. While that’s a little cheesy, it is completely true. I’ve read many posts with advice to single people, and I wanted to contribute. In our society we are focused on the couples and the happy ending, and we often forget that there are many many people who think that their happy ending might never come. So here is some thoughts that God has placed on my heart. These are as much for me as they are for you.

1. Just because you are single {and maybe have always been single} does NOT mean you are unwanted, damaged, or weird. 

Singleness does not mean that no one likes you or that you are unlovable, by any means. You are NOT damaged or unwanted. I believe that God has a plan for every life–including yours–and being single just means that there is something else God has planned for you. Maybe you need to draw nearer to Him before you can love someone else. Maybe He is still equipping you or your mate to be the best possible husband or wife they can be. We do not know Gods plans,but they are better than the plans we have for ourselves.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
    your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
    Do not forsake the work of your hands.

2. Being single shouldn’t make you an outcast

I am at the point in life where the majority of my friends are in three stages: dating/engaged, married, or married with babies. Then there is me. But what I love about most of my friends is that usually does not mean I am the outcast or not included. In fact, most of the time I feel left out or awkward being the only single person, its because I don’t continue to involve myself. As a single person, you need to remember its ok to not have a date and to remember to still go out with friends and have fun. While you need to remember some things are for couples, you should still be involved in hanging out and having fun with your couple friends. Don’t let yourself or your friends make you feel like an outcast because you are single.

3. While being single may be a blessing-it is not always easy

I have heard most of my life that being single is a blessing and it is so much easier than being in a relationship. While this, I believe, is true that doesn’t mean that single life is all happiness and stress free times. Life when your single is hard, especially if you want to be in a relationship. It can still be heartbreaking and emotional to be single. But God loves us with an everlasting love and does not forget us even when the road is hard and He is still faithful. Remember to try and remember this is a blessing, it gives us more time to spend drawing closer to God.

Jeremiah 31:3 the Lord appeared to him from far away.
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

4. Your worth is not defined by having a date/spouse, it is defined by the love of Christ 

Our self worth should not be tied to whether or not we are in a relationship. While the world sometimes makes it seem like that, it isn’t true. Our worth is defined by how God loves us. Our worth is defined by how GOD sees us and now how the world sees us. God values us based on who we are not whether we have a date or not. We are not defined by our singleness. Never forget that.

Matthew 10:31 31 Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows

5. Singleness isn’t a life sentence 

Just because you are single now, does not mean you will be forever. We joke about being “forever alone” but in all reality that is not always true. While I do believe God calls some people to a life of being single, that is not the case for everyone. Don’t get discouraged. There isn’t a cutoff age for marriage. You won’t be too old for love. God has a plan and may be his plan is for you to be single right now, but it doesn’t mean that is the case for the rest of your life. Have faith and pray about your future.

Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a]and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

I hope this encourages someone today. While its a long post with lots of words I hope you take a second and really read it. Send it to a single friend that might need to hear it today.

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