Today, August 1st marks two years of being a college graduate. On this day, two years ago, I was finally considered alumni of my college. Everything I had worked so hard for the past four years was finally done and I then had an cool title: Hilary Parr – college graduate with a BA in News and Information. (Cum Laude too)
After papers, presentations, news writing, and so much more…I was finally about to start the next chapter of my life: career. Sitting here two years later, I am no where closer to having that career than I was that day.
I’ve spent 2 years interview and applying for jobs. I’ve spent 2 years crying over rejection emails and spent hundreds of hours on all job websites. I knew (still do) the right answers, I was always prepared. I researched every company, dressed well, and shook hands like I was always taught. But I was never taught one thing: you can be the perfect candidate and still be passed up.
2 years. 2 incredibly draining, emotional, and hard years. I’ve battled with God about not bringing me something, I’ve questioned Him, and cried out to Him. I still don’t exactly know why I haven’t found the right job. It’s something God still hasn’t revealed to me yet. I am so grateful for one thing: God is not afraid of our questions. He is still near me and still hearing me. He just hasn’t answered my prayers when and how I wanted them.
I can’t say I haven’t been angry or hurt or frustrated, because I have been all those things and more. It’s hard not to. I am so thankful I serve a God that is gracious and understanding. He is patient with me. He is kind with me. Even through these two long years, I still believe He has my best interests at heart and knows better than I. He has never forsaken me, and He won’t ever. While I might have moments of frustration or bitterness, I don’t believe that God has left me…it just isn’t His timing yet.
He is everlasting, all-knowing, loving, caring, and perfect…I would much rather wait on His timing than my own flawed timing. My prayer is that even if it takes 2 more years that I would still trust Him and praise Him while I wait.
I battled on whether or not to share this because I don’t want employers to see this and think “if no one else has hired her, why should we.” But I also feel the need to share my struggles and my heart with y’all here on W&W. I never want to seem completely put together, I want to be real.